Connecting With Others in an Isolating World (and Dresses)

Today I was reminded that we need to connect with others instead of isolating ourselves. Addicts like to isolate. We think that what we need most is to be alone and turn inward, when in fact that fuels our disease. I went to the gym at lunch today and decided to swim. I walked in and ended up sharing a lane with another woman. She had a beautiful stroke and I complimented her on it and we ended up talking for quite awhile and discovered we had all sorts of similar interests. She even gave me feedback on my least favorite stroke as well. It was such a lovely interaction. I can’t wait to connect with her again. And while I was swimming I was thinking oh I should say anything to her, what a bother, what’s the use, but a little thought nudged me and said-you might just make her day. And I think I did and in the process we both had such a wonderful experience. She was there with a friend who I ended up talking to as well in the locker room. Of course our lockers were right next to each other! I keep reflecting on how close I came to missing out on such a wonderful experience, and meeting these two interesting, neat, woman. This is the stuff life is made up. Not stuff. Experiences, and people, and shared stories and lives and kindness. The next time I want to say something positive to someone and then I feel myself squash the urge down I’m going to overcome it and let that person know that they are noticed. I challenge you to do the same and watch the magic that unfolds. This experience was more satisfying then any purchase in a mall every was.

And now for the closet inventory part. Today because I was short on time I did a quick inventory of my dresses that currently fit and are in rotation. I am not including those in storage that are a size too small right now.

  1. Limited navy and white patterned sheath dress (NWT a bit snug), 14
  2. Limited navy sheath dress (part of suiting), 14
  3. Limited black sheath dress, 14
  4. Limited magenta sheath dress (NWT and a bit snug), 14
  5. Lands End navy sheath dress, 12
  6. Lands End teal sheath dress, 12
  7. London Times black/red/orange floral sheath dress, 12
  8. Donna Morgan black/white/blue faux wrap dress (thrifted), 14
  9. Suite 7 black/tan floral sheath dress, 12
  10. Old Navy black and blue striped sheath dress, L

10 dresses doesn’t seem like an extreme amount. (not like some of my clothing categories to come!) But it does take up sizable real estate in my closet. I can tell you that I have worn at least half of these once in the last month, but I can still go almost two full weeks at work wearing a different dress each day. Granted some of these are more seasonal due to fabrics, but this is still plenty of dresses. I also didn’t count formal/fancy attire or sundresses that I have stored in our spare closet. I know there are a few things that fit in there, and I also know there are many things that don’t right now and that’s ok. I’m going to focus mostly on my day to day workday and weekend wardrobe right now and pare that down, then focus on rarely worn, but still necessary items.

I’m noticing a trend (albeit small) here of having two dresses I haven’t worn because they are a bit snug. I am no longer going to buy something I love if it doesn’t fit and try to dress some future body. I am learning to trust and believe that there will always be beautiful things available down the road that will fit my body no matter the size it is so that when I purchase something now it will be for the body/size I am now.

I also clearly need no more dresses from the Limited. The navy and black dresses are the same style, just different colors, originally purchased to go with suiting. I know I tend to buy multiples often-something else I am working on being very mindful of. Because I am very picky when it comes to clothing I tend to buy every color of something I find that I love because I fear I will never find it again.  This Fear, or FOMO (fear of missing out) is something I am going to do some more writing about because I think there is a lot of clarity to be found in that topic.

Guess who won’t be buying any more dresses for a while? This gal! If I want to, I’ll just go shopping in my closet as there are two gorgeous dresses waiting for be loved. They might as well still be hanging on the rack at the mall.

oh, and yesterday I wore that black and white Liz Claiborne skirt I had never worn and it rocked. I wore it with a sweater I had also never worn. I received many compliments. Guess who else doesn’t need any more skirts!? 🙂

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