Struggling and Suits

I am struggling right now. I want to shop and buy because the summer clothes I have are too tight and I have a trip to a warm place coming up in a few weeks. I have tried to wait but the closer the trip gets and as we start making plans the anxiety sets in of oh my god what am I going to wear. How can I possibly enjoy the trip without new clothes? In reality I could make do, but would likely feel self-conscious and uncomfortable and I would have to wear the same few things every day. I could do that, but I want to look good and feel good. I want to look my best and not feel self-conscious. But maybe I need to get a lot more comfortable being uncomfortable.

Truthfully, there are some things I need. I need a new fashion swimsuit. I have a lap swimming suit, but it’s not cute. I hadn’t bought a non-exercise swim suit since my honeymoon over 8 years ago. But, instead of buying 1 or 2, I bought 3. Now, granted I love them. Black and two colors. And we are going to be gone for 10 days, and on a beach the whole time, so maybe that’s not too extreme. But I’m giving it thought. I did buy some shorts that fit and I have a couple skirts that will work. I am struggling with not having the things I want to have.  Why is so hard to accept that you just can’t have what you want when you want it sometimes. And that you will BE OK and still have an enjoyable trip using what you already have. In fact, you will probably have a better trip, right?

Speaking of suits-I  also purchased a suit jacket last minute for the interview I had yesterday. I was so nervous and excited for this interview. I only own one suit as I had gotten rid of the others a few years ago thinking I wouldn’t need them. When I had a job interview a few months ago that fell out of the sky and I had less then 2 days to plan I ended up having to buy a “stress suit” in a great neutral color that looks great on me, but the fit of the jacket was not good. I simply couldn’t find one that had matching separates in the few hours I had to shop before my interview-my time was better spent preparing for the interview at the time. Lesson learned: always be prepared and have a suit on hand. Especially, if you profession requires you to have a formal suit for an interview, as mine does. It’s way better to have one waiting for you in your closet, then to have to rush out and settle for something that costs $250.

So all week I stressed over buying the jacket to go with the suit pants I already owned. I had the pants and skirt, but had not bought the jacket last fall thinking I didn’t need it right now when I was buying new dress pants, so I didn’t get it. I didn’t need another suit right then-and didn’t think I’d be interviewing again soon. Another assumption one should never make as you never know when an opportunity will come your way.

I knew I wanted to feel good in the interview and the suit jacket I owned just did not look flattering. If I was posing for a head shot it would be fine. But to be confident and sit up straight and lean in  and perform in an interview, I would have been very uncomfortable. So I bought the other suit jacket. It’s gray. It looks fantastic. It fits me like a dream. Boy do I wish this manufacturer made this same jacket in other basic colors, but they don’t. As a curvy woman with a chest it is really hard to find suit jackets that are flattering . You have to fit the chest and then likely the waist is too big or if you fit the waist it puckers when you button it. as the chest is too big. Meh. I paid for rush shipping and bought 2 sizes and one of them fit perfectly.

In the end, I felt great at my interview and rocked it. I am so thankful for that. I will find out if I have a second interview this week. Then the issue is what to wear to the second interview. I am not going to buy another suit and spend hundreds of dollars. If I could find a suit jacket that goes with the dress pants I already own I might do it, but the thought is so exhausting. I wish I had a black suit, but loathe the idea of looking for one. Do I wear the same suit to the second interview? I think not. So I may have to wear the sub-par suit and just deal with it, but boy the thought of that makes me cringe. Given that my interviewers were mostly men I doubt they will recall what I am wearing, but there was one very stylish lady sitting right next to me and I bet she would remember.

Maybe I won’t even get a second interview and all this whirling stress will be for not. Either way, the stress leading up to the interview just made me want to shop. And I did. I spent too much and have taken some of it back. But sometimes going back to the store is even worse. But, I was incredibly aware of what I was doing and made some hard choices between some items whereas in the past I would have bought it all.

So, I need to recommit to not going into stores for the remainder of the month. I made it 11 days and then took a step back. But that’s ok. Onward. No shame, only a commitment that I am worth examining my behavior and improving it.

I am way overdue for continuing my closet inventory. This is partly due to being embarrassed at the numbers to come. But they need to come out so I can examine them in a scientific way and understand what they mean and symbolize. The bottom line is I have been spending between $500-$1000 (during the worst months) a month on clothes, shoes, jewelry, fitness attire and that is Way. Too. Much. It may sound like a lot to some, but it’s very easy for it to add up. Tracking all my spending has been eye opening as I can’t deny it anymore. And I see how often I am shopping and going into stores. I honestly don’t remember it being so often so that’s eye opening.

So the inventory-I have turned into something of a blouse whore. I used to own only a few and I lived in stretchy knits, especially when I was slimmer, as I enjoyed showing off my curves more. Now that I am a bit heavier I am loving fabrics that skim and don’t cling. And I fell pray to buying many multiples of things when I finally found some blouses that fit my shape and didn’t need to be altered. Like jackets, blouses are generally much too big on my waist if they fit my bust and hips well. I have a very defined waist and hourglass figure and have spent hundreds of dollars at the tailor having him take in the waist of blouses I love and it was worth every penny. They look great on me and give me shape instead of looking like I’m wearing a box. I also have gravitated to more blouses as I have gotten older and feel like I have entered a new fashion phase in my mid-thirties where the styles I generally wore before seemed too young which prompted a lot of updating and re-setting of my closet contents.

Awareness has brought me the following realization. When shopping I often find myself experience a lot of fear, especially if my body is in transition.  Fear that I wouldn’t look nice or find things that I loved that would allow me to express my personal style. Fear that I wouldn’t find something like this item again. I find it hard to say no and leave things that are beautiful prints or colors in the store. I find it stressful to not have a particular part of my wardrobe not “set.” I may have a pink casual top, but what about a pink dressy top? I may have a 3/4 sleeve sweater in that color, but what about a long sleeved? I have pants in that color but what about capris? You get the idea. But you know what, I continue to buy because there continue to be beautiful lovely things to buy, so why do I keep fearing a shortage of clothes, like blouses? Time to examine this more. Ok, onto the inventory.

Have you heard of the Express Portofino Blouses? I have a ridiculous number of them acquired over time as you will see. They are my go to.

Blouses (Long Sleeved)

  1. ATL black/white flowered
  2. PF Cobalt blue
  3. PF black
  4. PF bright pink
  5. PF mint green
  6. PF ivory
  7. PF dark purple
  8. PF forest green
  9. PF navy
  10. PF red orange
  11. PF teal
  12. PF aqua
  13. PF coral
  14. PF black and white pattern
  15. PF black and white dot
  16. PF white and pink dot
  17. PF navy with pattern
  18. PF light blue with white pattern.
  19. BR green and black geo pattern
  20. ANA black and white geo
  21. ANA pink/white/gray pattern
  22. ANA magenta/gold pattern
  23. ANA black
  24. ANA pink
  25. ANA blue with black trim
  26. NY and Co. magenta (thrifted). This was actually the first blouse I owned.
  27. Candies perriwinkle
  28. Candies black and magenta floral chevron pattern
  29. Apt 9 light purple with pockets
  30. Apt 9 black/blue/gray floral

Good Grief. I could wear a different blouse everyday for a month and not repeat them. That’s absolutely ridiculous. I am so appalled and embarrassed. But it’s out there now. And those are just long sleeved blouses. Here are the 3/4 sleeved. Not nearly as many though.

  1. ANA magenta
  2. ANA purple
  3. ANA teal
  4. ANA black (a bit snug)
  5. ANA blue (a bit snug)
  6. Lim black and white
  7. Cobalt and white pattern
  8. Merona green
  9. Merona aqua

Well, there it is. Ugh. How do you let go of your clothes when you clearly have so much excess? It is SO HARD for me!!!


A Full Day

Some days are just full, you know? Some weeks are just bursting. And others seem so empty and idle and the hours drag on and I find myself spending hours (wasting it rather) on the internet or some other way to occupy my brain because I’m just so bored and can’t tolerate what I have to do. And then there are those days and weeks that feel so full and ripe. Like today and this week. I have had such a wonderful and full and productive work week. Sure, there is some boredom, and unsavory tasks, but there is variety and colleagues and the sun was shining and I felt I had purpose. It was such a good feeling. Such a gift. The hours passed quickly and I actually have been staying late a bit to get things done because the satisfaction of completing a task is so joyous sometimes. Before I would be watching the clock just waiting for the minute I could technically leave and then I would go shop somewhere. Not this week. Sure, I’ve had urges to go shopping, just to see the new and the pretty and the ooh and the shiny and because sure I “Want” stuff but I don’t Really want Stuff. It’s a nice place to be right now and I’m going to treasure it.

The urge to still get the gray suit jacket is there but I’m holding off for now. Just for today I can wait and pause and be still and do without.

Today I am grateful for coworkers to have lunch with and a paycheck to purchase said lunch and taste buds to enjoy lunch that I didn’t have to make. I am thankful for the gym on a winter day and for friends who talked me out of skipping my workout. I often don’t want to workout in the evening but it makes my evening absolutely lovely when I do. I don’t come home and lay on the couch like a lump. I have energy and eat a sensible dinner and take time for myself and I have no interest in stuff or shops and I realize that this is my life completely full. And it is pretty darn great.

Today’s closet inventory is dress pants. I spend 90 % of my time during the week in dress pants, and dressy occasions during the winter months usually find me in dress pants. I have multiples of the colors I wear the most, black and navy. I have tried to just have one pair of black pants, but I just can’t deal. These are the dress pants currently in my closet that fit and make me feel good. As with many other items, I have many pairs in a size smaller in storage, where they will wait for another day.

Dress Pants

  1. Black Limited dress pant
  2. Navy Limited dress pant
  3. Gray Limited dress pant
  4. Tan Limited dress pant
  5. Red Limited dress pant
  6. Light brown Limited dress pant
  7. Pink/Mauve Limited dress pant
  8. Black Worthington dress pant x 2
  9. Navy Worthington dress pant
  10. Faux denim Worthington dress pant
  11. Brown Worthington dress pant
  12. Black/gray herringbone Worthington dress pant
  13. Red comfy AT dress pant (a bit small, but so close I’ll leave them here)

Yes, I have two red pairs of pants, but they are considerably different reds and cut very different, so they fill two different purposes for me. But, I likely will make a decision to get rid of one very soon. Because you’re right, I don’t need them both. I will enjoy one pair much more if the other is not diluted by having them both.

What’s ridiculous is I really don’t like Limited dress pants very much-so WHY do I have them? I settled. I was stress shopping and felt unable to wait to find something I really liked. Lesson learned. I can get by with very little until I find what I do love. I was so afraid of having less variety and no options during that phase of major acquiring. Awareness is so powerful and illuminating now. You can only wear one outfit at a time…so in reality, ONE PAIR of pants is all you need at once. Two pairs of pants you love goes a long way. I am slowly working on letting go of fear that I won’t have what I want when I want it. You know what I do love? Worthington dress pants. They fit me amazingly. I often get compliments from total strangers about my dress pants. They are affordable and always available so I don’t need to worry. When my previous favorite dress pant designer changed all of their fits, I admit I was lost for quite some time and annoyed I couldn’t find the pants I had grown to rely on-and then I found the Worthington pants-and they were even better then the pants I owned previously. If you are tall, high-waisted, with curves-check out these pants.

13 pairs of dress pants is a lot. I can wear a different pair for 2 work weeks and 3 days. Granted some of them are a bit more warm weather-these pants do not include my ankle pants or capris, so I clearly have more then I need. I can identify  right away that I rarely wear the tan pants as they just aren’t as versatile in my wardrobe. Here’s what happens with me and khaki pants- every time I get rid of my one pair of khaki pants I wish I had some. Then I buy another pair and the sit in my closet mostly unworn, then I purge them. Then eventually get another pair and the cycle repeats itself. Does this every happen to you? You think you want to own an item to add variety, then you get it, and it turns out to be not so great so you purge and re-aquire it over and over. How long does it take you to learn? My style is evolving so I think I thought maybe now was the time. And perhaps it’s the season. They would likely get worn more in the summer, but if I’m’ really honest with myself-probably not. Then why do I get this glimmer of fear when I think of getting rid of them. I get worried I won’t ever find another pair like that, that style, that color. Has the world EVER run out of tan/khaki pants? NO!  Also, the particular pair currently in my closet, in all honestly, is a bit snug, so I should probably retire it for now. The main problem with those pants is the rise isn’t high enough for my comfort level. I should NEVER buy pants that aren’t a high enough rise thinking they will somehow be ok. They never are.

Speaking of designers changing their pants-fabric can make or break a pant as we know. I have mostly dark dress pants and had wanted some lighter colors. My limited pants are also shorter and made more for flats, while the Worthington pants are made more for heels. And I wanted a pair of gray pants that was longer. I purchased a few newer colors of the beloved Worthington pants and you know what-they don’t fit great. They are tight in weird places, and don’t flatter the thigh, or fit the waist as well as the darker colors I’ve owned for years. But, I’m having a hard time giving them up now that I have them. I know I should. They will just sit their and cause me stress and anxiety and fill my life with things I don’t want cluttering up my home or mind with. The pants aren’t magically going to change so it’s time to let them go and wait for something better to come along. I’ve been just fine without a pair of light gray pants and I will be just fine tomorrow without them.

Focusing on the Here and Now

I just got a call that I have a job interview next week. I never thought I would get an interview for this job. I’m excited and overwhelmed and scared and proud. And now I want to drive all over town looking for a gray suit jacket. What’s ridiculous is I used to own the gray suit jacket I want to buy. I bought it. Then returned it as I didn’t really need it, or so I thought. And you know what? I HAVE a suit. Although I don’t like it and it doesn’t fit great. The color is great on me, but the sleeves are a bit too short, the cut isn’t great, but I bought it in ‘an emergency I need a suit now for a job interview tomorrow sort of situation.’ the WORST kind of situation to go looking for a suit in. They are expensive and you are exhausted and you don’t have a lot of options. And you wear it for what an hour and you sweat through it and then you have a pile of smelly that cost you over $200. Ugh. So I have a suit I can wear, but it’s not great. So I feel myself looking outward instead of inward. Yes, I need to wear a suit to the interview, so I don’t have other options, but I can wear the one I have. It will be just fine. There will be other gray suits in the world and if the time is right for one of them to come into my life then, so be it. I don’t need to buy the gray suit jacket to match my pants just to have them around in case. I have one suit and that is enough. I have spent so much of my life buying for a future life, not the one that is right in front of me. I rarely wear a suit, except for interviews. I don’t need another one. Just because I have the pants doesn’t mean I need the jacket. Yes, it looked good on me. Better then the one I own. But it is also over $100. And didn’t I just tell my friend that I wanted a new computer? It’s all about priorities. The hear and now is that I have enough. I have a suit that will work just fine. I will look fine. I can put my energy into taking care of myself and preparing for the interview. That is the here and now that will pay off in the future.

I admit I really want to go to the store and just try the jacket on but I’m going to wait. I don’t have to make a decision about this right now. My suit needs are met.

Today’s inventory piece is small. Speaking of suits, I decided to look at my blazers/jackets. This is an item of clothing that I always wanted to wear more of but struggled to find a good fit. I don’t have the type of body that blazers and jackets fit well so it’s an ongoing struggle. I end up having to pay for alterations or compromising on fit which for a jacket or blazer, which usually has a hefty price tag, is a bit ridiculous. I need part of the jacket regular sized and part of the jacket petite sized as I’m tall but petite in proportions at the same time and they just don’t make blazers like that. So I wait. But when I find one that fits well I often pounce.

These are the jackets I currently own and that fit well. When I first started buying jackets and blazers I think I bought them way too small, thinking they would skim my figure more, and be more flattering, because I was never going to button them, but I was VERY mistaken! Sometimes I look at the jackets I own and just wish I could have each of them in one size larger-problem solved. But, I can’t-I can only learn and move of. So I have several that I should get rid of that I know are in storage as off season items. It’s cold where I live in February!


  1. Red long sleeved blazer
  2. Tan long sleeved blazer
  3. Medium gray blazer
  4. Navy long sleeved blazer (NWT-just picked it up from the tailor-I hunted for this item for years)
  5. black long sleeved blazer (thrifted-never worn)
  6. 3/4 sleeved plaid blazer (black/red-never worn-holiday clearance)

I’ve worn/currently wear all of these, except the most recent purchases. One of which I will have to wait until warmer weather to wear. I enjoy wearing blazers-they make me feel grown up and smart and when they fit my figure well they look great. I am feeling like I’m in a bit of a fashion/wardrobe transition in my life and adding in blazers instead of always a cardigan has been a nice change, but a learning experience as well.

I am happy with what I own. I admit I would love a black blazer I feel amazing in and I’ve wanted a pink blazer since I saw a colleague rocking one. But, I can wait until the right one comes a long. I have several 3/4 sleeve blazers packed up that I only wear when it’s warmer. There tend to me no end to 3/4 sleeve blazers and I actually don’t like them. I’d rather roll up my sleeves, because inside the AC freezes me anyway at work. The lesson I have learned from this (and wish I’d remembered when I bought the holiday plaid blazer above) is that I really don’t like 3/4 sleeve blazers. I already have long arms and I get cold if my arms aren’t covered. You’d think I wouldn’t have to type this out to finally know this about myself, but I guess that’s why I’m hear-to gain awareness and mindfulness.

I’ve have numerous outfits created in my mind for months waiting to find a navy blazer that I could roll up the sleeves, but the pattern underneath wouldn’t be one that would clash with most of my layering tops. That’s another pet peeve I have. When designer’s ruin the usefulness and practicality of a blazer by adding a super cute but very limiting lining. I want to wear my blazers, sleeves rolled up, with ALL of my clothes, not the one top that happens to match the fancy fabric lining.

I also started taking a flower essence that is supposed to help calm your thoughts-which sounds great for thoughts of wanting to shop and buy and acquire when you really don’t want to. So far so good. I’ll let you know what I think. My therapist recommended it and my acupuncturist wholeheartedly agreed and was so excited when I mentioned it. My acupuncturist also put these tiny silver buttons in my ear that I can press on when I’m having thoughts I don’t want to or feeling anxiety or stress. I feel like a cyborg! It’s kind of awesome.



Connecting With Others in an Isolating World (and Dresses)

Today I was reminded that we need to connect with others instead of isolating ourselves. Addicts like to isolate. We think that what we need most is to be alone and turn inward, when in fact that fuels our disease. I went to the gym at lunch today and decided to swim. I walked in and ended up sharing a lane with another woman. She had a beautiful stroke and I complimented her on it and we ended up talking for quite awhile and discovered we had all sorts of similar interests. She even gave me feedback on my least favorite stroke as well. It was such a lovely interaction. I can’t wait to connect with her again. And while I was swimming I was thinking oh I should say anything to her, what a bother, what’s the use, but a little thought nudged me and said-you might just make her day. And I think I did and in the process we both had such a wonderful experience. She was there with a friend who I ended up talking to as well in the locker room. Of course our lockers were right next to each other! I keep reflecting on how close I came to missing out on such a wonderful experience, and meeting these two interesting, neat, woman. This is the stuff life is made up. Not stuff. Experiences, and people, and shared stories and lives and kindness. The next time I want to say something positive to someone and then I feel myself squash the urge down I’m going to overcome it and let that person know that they are noticed. I challenge you to do the same and watch the magic that unfolds. This experience was more satisfying then any purchase in a mall every was.

And now for the closet inventory part. Today because I was short on time I did a quick inventory of my dresses that currently fit and are in rotation. I am not including those in storage that are a size too small right now.

  1. Limited navy and white patterned sheath dress (NWT a bit snug), 14
  2. Limited navy sheath dress (part of suiting), 14
  3. Limited black sheath dress, 14
  4. Limited magenta sheath dress (NWT and a bit snug), 14
  5. Lands End navy sheath dress, 12
  6. Lands End teal sheath dress, 12
  7. London Times black/red/orange floral sheath dress, 12
  8. Donna Morgan black/white/blue faux wrap dress (thrifted), 14
  9. Suite 7 black/tan floral sheath dress, 12
  10. Old Navy black and blue striped sheath dress, L

10 dresses doesn’t seem like an extreme amount. (not like some of my clothing categories to come!) But it does take up sizable real estate in my closet. I can tell you that I have worn at least half of these once in the last month, but I can still go almost two full weeks at work wearing a different dress each day. Granted some of these are more seasonal due to fabrics, but this is still plenty of dresses. I also didn’t count formal/fancy attire or sundresses that I have stored in our spare closet. I know there are a few things that fit in there, and I also know there are many things that don’t right now and that’s ok. I’m going to focus mostly on my day to day workday and weekend wardrobe right now and pare that down, then focus on rarely worn, but still necessary items.

I’m noticing a trend (albeit small) here of having two dresses I haven’t worn because they are a bit snug. I am no longer going to buy something I love if it doesn’t fit and try to dress some future body. I am learning to trust and believe that there will always be beautiful things available down the road that will fit my body no matter the size it is so that when I purchase something now it will be for the body/size I am now.

I also clearly need no more dresses from the Limited. The navy and black dresses are the same style, just different colors, originally purchased to go with suiting. I know I tend to buy multiples often-something else I am working on being very mindful of. Because I am very picky when it comes to clothing I tend to buy every color of something I find that I love because I fear I will never find it again.  This Fear, or FOMO (fear of missing out) is something I am going to do some more writing about because I think there is a lot of clarity to be found in that topic.

Guess who won’t be buying any more dresses for a while? This gal! If I want to, I’ll just go shopping in my closet as there are two gorgeous dresses waiting for be loved. They might as well still be hanging on the rack at the mall.

oh, and yesterday I wore that black and white Liz Claiborne skirt I had never worn and it rocked. I wore it with a sweater I had also never worn. I received many compliments. Guess who else doesn’t need any more skirts!? 🙂

Resurfacing and Starting an Accountability Closet Inventory.

It’s funny, I lost this blog. And I lost myself for a while. I was wandering lost in the dark shadows of my shopping compulsion, and I got stuck there for a while. But. I’m back, ready to be more accountable and face the aspects of myself I don’t like the most. I am a compulsive shopper. I love shopping. But, I am still a good person. I am still smart and beautiful and funny and a good friend and a good spouse. I have spent such a long time hating this aspect of myself but it’s time to re-frame a bit. It is part of me. It has done me some good, even thought I don’t like to admit it. My closet is full of beautiful things. But, my closet does not define me.

I started doing a closet inventory a year ago and it was eye opening and totally embarrassing. I am going to do it again, and actually finish it. I wrote down all the skirts I owned and realized I could wear a different skirt for over a month, and I was just getting started! So I wore every skirt I owned for a month and at the end of the day I decided to keep it or get rid of it. It was a start. During this process I was reading the Recovering Shopaholic’s blog thinking she’s not bad a all. I have WAY more stuff then that. Good grief. Don’t tell anyone! But I’m going to come clean. It’s ok. No more shame. And I will get the willingness and courage to begin paring down to a more manageable level. I want my clothes to fit in my closet without being jammed in there. I want the clothes hanging in my closet to be seasonal and to fit my current body. I want to have enough room and hangers to have all of my clothes put away if they were all clean at once. This isn’t the way things currently are.

As someone who’s size has fluctuated over the year, it is challenging to pare down your closet when you have many things that don’t fit. Or when you have a whole closet of things that are too small. I have weighed more and I have weighed less. I have gained about 10-15 lbs in the last  year which isn’t a huge amount, but it is enough that I have almost an entire size 12 wardrobe that I can’t wear. I am a solid 14 now, and still have a great body, but have had to get larger sizes and I have packed up the things that are too snug. I am working on losing the weight I have gained but until I get there I am accepting that I am just fine the way I am and I currently have plenty of things to wear at this size. When I realized I had gained too much weight to fit into my old wardrobe I went on a shopping bender to replenish what I had lost. It was a mourning of sorts. The frantic feelings are gone, but it’s time to stop the accumulating.

So speaking of skirts let’s start there: Let’s do the numbers. I currently have 20 skirts in my closet. After going through them I am keeping 15 in my closet. Here’s a skirt story: I was having some fear that I didn’t have a a black twirly skirt for an upcoming trip and my mind started racing about needing to find one. And you know what, if I had just looked in my closet I would have found that I have everything I need. I am taken care of. But the compulsive brain often forgets to do the obvious and the logical. When you have too much you forget what you have and you start to experience scarcity. Its crazy! Anyway I have started my inventory on an excel spread sheet but will give some brief information here. Do you want the details? I know you do:. Here are my skirts that currently fit and are in my closet. Do they bring me joy? Stay tuned:

Closet Inventory February 2015: Skirts*

  1. Limited lined black pencil skirt, 14
  2. Limited lined navy pencil skirt (part of my interview suit), 14
  3. Limited lined dark gray pencil skirt, 14
  4. ATL, purple patterned pencil skirt, 14
  5. AT black/tan geometric lace overlay skirt, 12
  6. Notations black twirly skirt :), petite large
  7. ON dark denim pencil skirt, 12
  8. NY&C black and white geometric patterned pencil skirt, 14. NWT. SERIOUSLY? I can’t believe I haven’t worn this.
  9. Liz Claiborne, black and white dot pencil skirt, 14. (A bit snug.) NWT. Again-this is eye-opening. This is so cute. I am wearing it tomorrow.
  10. Apt. 9 black and gray lace stretchy pull on pencil skirt, L (a bit snug)
  11. Apt. 9 black cotton pencil skirt, 12 (a bit snug)
  12. Apt. 9 purple pencil skirt, 12 (a bit snug)
  13. Limited (vintage!) dark brown lined pencil skirt, 12.  (a bit snug, but wearable)
  14. AT (thrifted) tweed black/gray/tan pencil skirt, 14. A huge favorite!
  15. ATL magenta/red pencil skirt, 14.
  16. ON blue and black striped pull on pencil skirt, XL. A current favorite.

As I went through these and tried them on I only kept items that fit well and made me feel good in my closet. I ended up packing a lot of things up that were a bit snug. Ironically, many of these things I paid a lot of money to alter down a size last year or I have perhaps grown out of  style wise (2 Boden A-line skirts; an ATL size 12 lined black pencil skirt (the first black skirt I ever bought in my adult life, for a funeral years ago in my 20s!;  a Marshalls find years ago-dark denim dress pencil skirt; a thrifted Talbots dark denim skirt, L (a huge favorite when it fits-people I don’t know randomly come up to me and compliment me when I wear this; and a gap navy pencil skirt, 12). It feels really good to only have skirts I love and that fit well hanging in my closet. No more uncertainty or worry about grabbing something that will be too small and being at the gym in the morning post workout and not being able to get my skirt zipped.

I’m not going to worry about making sure the skirts that are too small will fit by a certain point in time-that will send me to the mall for sure. I don’t need to replace them right now as I have plenty to wear in the meantime. Sure, I don’t have ALL THE COLORS or all the styles or possibilities, but I have enough. Enough. And you can only wear one skirt at a time! It seems so simple, yet easy to not understand in a practical sense.

I know that a few of them are too tight and will have to wait for some weight to come off. But the truth is I have many awesome skirts now and I will have many awesome skirts then without needing to acquire more. I can wear a different skirt to work for three weeks straight, if we count just M-F. That’s nuts! Right? It is. I’m not going to wear a skirt everyday this week, but I am going to wear at least one or two and make a decision at the end of the day about where it falls. Love it Now. Maybe Later. Gone for Good. If I get rid of something I know I will have to take some time to let it go so that I do not run off and fill the void right away. I may not get rid of everything, but if I’m feeling like buying a new skirt I have two brand new ones in my closet that need some love. My life is so abundant in the clothing department-so why do I always want more clothes? It’s just who I am.

* I know I have a few more skirts that are more seasonal items–some maxi skirts and A-line skirts packed up that likely fit but are only worn in summer/spring or on warm weather vacations. I will address these at a later date. But remembering that they exist is important to curb impulsive purchases of things that are not currently hanging in my closet. Here they are from memory:

Off-season Skirts

  1. Blue/white diagonal striped maxi skirt
  2. Black and white patterned maxi skirt
  3. Merona gray/black pink striped maxi skirt (a favorite)
  4. Flying Tomato black/pink/yellow/multi colored maxi skirt (certain this is too small right now)
  5. Black A-line twirly skirt
  6. Horny Toad Navy/Grayish A-line twirly skirt.

There you have it. I can’t believe I’ve written this much about skirts.

My monthly promise/goal: Stay out of the Mall that is near my workplace. Just for February, which is the shortest month anyway! What will I do instead? I will workout on my lunch break. Read on my lunch break. Write on my lunch break. After work I will go HOME (shocker!). Get together with friends. Enjoy my hobbies. Have down time. Keep my home clean and organized. I will respect my time.

It’s good to be back.